01 APR 2002 - 9.28p
The horse switch went without a hitch. Newt seemed fairly settled in his new (old) home when I left. Baby Eh? got right on the trailer, and was very quiet most of the ride home. Once at Timberlane, he seemed a little nervous, but was certainly quieter than Newt was his first time there. I fed him his dinner, then took him for a walk in the arena. He was a little concerned about the mirrors, but not horribly so. I lunged him a bit and he really has a lot to work on in that department. I'm very excited... this is going to be fun.

01 APR 2002 - 11.07a
I'm very excited today. I'm quite nervous, as well... I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I hope I'm doing the right thing, but even if it's not totally the right thing, at least I'm doing something productive. I'm helping Robin out, she's helping me out... how bad can it be?

I'm skipping German again today. I'm going to offer Ivy money to teach me what the hell is going on. I was planning on going, but I just tried doing the homework (which was due on Friday) and I can't do it. I feel absolutely ill in the first place (just the nerves of hauling the horses, especially with the new truck - its maiden voyage with the trailer! and the stress of the horse switch) and the anxiety that German causes will probably cause my insides to explode right now. Gah!

[now playing: pavement - 'slanted and enchanted' cd]

31 MAR 2002 - 10.21p
It's weird... usually putting fresh hay in the horse trailer, packing grain, doing horse laundry, and rolling horse leg wraps in front of the computer at night means there's a horse show. But here I am, rolling flannel shipping wraps and there's no horse show to leave for tomorrow. Earlier, at the barn, I changed the hay in the trailer (which probably hasn't been changed since December, when Newt made the journey to Doc's) and packed enough grain for a week so Newt could adjust slowly to his new feed at Robin's. Tonight I'm focusing on horse laundry... shipping bandages that haven't been washed since the Congress in October... saddle pads and polo wraps that haven't been used in several months because of Newt's inactivity. The shipping wraps are the most important, obviously, as the big Newt will continue to remain inactive...

It's so weird thinking about this. I can't help but feel like I'm giving up on him... casting him aside because for the moment, he is not useful. For the last five years, this wonderful animal has done everything I ever hoped he could do... well, it wasn't that simple, it was definitely a struggle... but he did it. And he deserves to be treated like he shits gold. So what am I doing? Instead of getting aggressive trying to treat his unknown problem with a vet, I'm giving him up for a month just so I'll have something to ride and won't have to pay another dime (either on another vet bill, or on keeping Newt plus another horse at Timberlane). Part of me is so skeptical that another month off will do the horse any good... I should just try the veterinary route again, fix the problem, pay the bills, and get on with it.

But maybe this will be what he needs... a month at a very quiet barn, lots of time to rest in a much nicer setting than I could offer him at Timberlane. He can get even fatter than he already is... and it's not like I'm never going to see him again. He won't be that far away. I'm already planning on seeing him almost every day this week.

I should be excited and grateful for this opportunity. And flattered that Robin would trust me with a really promising prospect. But I just feel bad for Newt. He and I should be preparing for our first horse show (the OQHA season starts next weekend), but instead I'm preparing him for semi-retirement. Not really, but still. Who knows what will happen.

I'm not going to know what to do with myself if he doesn't come back sound after this month. Ralph Sr. suggested I give him a whole year and ride whatever Robin has to offer. He pointed out that Newt isn't so young or so old that a year is critical... he is in his prime, and he knows his job. Maybe that would be the best thing to do. I don't know anymore.

So tomorrow after school, I'll take Newt to Robin's and come back to Timberlane with the Eh? horse. Hopefully I'll be excited by then.

[now playing: the pixies - 'trompe le monde' cd]

31 MAR 2002 - 1.35p
The White Stripes show on Friday was not nearly as painful as the previous two. I'm not even really sure what to write about the evening. I met John's coworker/friend, Jack... he was a total character and I adored him. I wore a skirt and I got really sauced. We were late to the White Stripes show, which was certainly fine by me... we missed a few songs. Oh well. I didn't mind the show so much, because of my saucy condition... although I'd totally forgotten how lame Jack White is when he throws his name into like every song they do. But as always, I enjoy whatever time I get to spend with my dear friend John. In fact, I wish I could have spent more time with him... but I should be commended for my stellar behavior and rewarded at a later date... okay, John?

I woke up the next morning smelling like a brewery (or so said Joanne). There was mud on my floor, and mud all over my shoes. Kind of odd, because I don't remember walking on anything other than concrete the whole night.

Last night I went to a small gathering at Lacey's. I was tired, but enjoyed myself very much so. Particular highlights include the return of Don Gato, Brett's t-shirt (how old is it?), and the discussion of the guinea pig in Tim's (the phone masturbator) pants. This gathering was considerably calmer than Lacey's birthday party, which was perfectly a-okay (no jello shots/cake fights). I think everyone was more low key last night, anyway.

I think tomorrow is the day I'm switching horses. Nervous, nervous, nervous. This is going to be a huge change in my life... and I feel somewhat guilty about it. I just don't know what to do...

In other news, the Men Without Hats want you! I love the Safety Dance. For real.

29 MAR 2002 - 10.43
I just wanted to add that from here on out, Paul H will be referred to as, "Jive Turkey." That's the name he writes on his socks so he knows which socks are his.

I'm trying to decide if I should skip German today. I really shouldn't, because I'm doing SO poorly... but I didn't do the homework (yet), I don't know any of the vocabulary, and I don't feel like crying. I was in such a great mood the other day, and then German ruined it. The tone was totally set for the rest of the day after German. I don't want that to happen today. I'm feeling quite up. And the weather is beautiful! A big change from the blizzard earlier this week.

Oh well. I should attempt this German homework... it's going to make me cry. Boo.

But before I go, I would like to confess that I bought the new Phantom Planet cd. I'm ashamed to admit that I bought it when (as John said) "there's so much good music out there." I'm just not quite over Jason Schwartzman being as tall as a smurf, and I wanted to reassure myself that he really doesn't have that much going for him (i.e. a bad band) so when I see the Phantom Planet open for Guided By Voices next Friday, I won't be tempted to rush the stage or throw my panties at Jason or anything. And after listening to the cd, I certainly won't be doing either of those things.

29 MAR 2002 - 9.37a
I hate the White Stripes. I mean, I really hate them. I have seen them TWICE against my will... and one of those times was with Sleater-Kinney (vomit!). The other time was with Quintron and the Drum Buddy show. That was much fun, until the White Stripes played. They sucked.

Yeah, anyhow... I'm going with John tonight. I enjoy his company, which is my primary reason for attending tonight. Well, actually, he's dragging me... so that might have something to do with it, too.

I'm getting a haircut today. I haven't had one in three months.

I went to Robin's yesterday (finally!) and looked at all of her horses. I really liked two of them, probably enough to buy, even. One is a three year old Canadian-bred horse that she calls "Eh?" around the barn. He's really cute, but very spooky and gawky... and naughty! The other one that I really liked is a two year old named Tim. Eh? will be coming home with me next week, and Newt will stay at Robin's. I have really mixed emotions about this... I just hope Newt is okay there. I'm more worried about him than anything. And I'll miss him terribly.

25 MAR 2002 - 10.41p
If anybody would like to see any of the pictures taken from porn night over the weekend, feel free to email me. I don't know who has seen what, and some of these pictures are absolute gems.

Making small talk in my blog is lame, but the weather totally blows. I hate snow. I hate cold. I hate scraping my car. And most of all, I hate when my hands and feet turn white. I hate how the weather is always worse at school, and how it's always at least fifty degrees colder there, and how it's one big giant cold wind tunnel. It almost makes me long for Findlay, where the weather wasn't nearly so dramatic, but their lack of city snow plows made up for it. I had some exciting times on the road there with my old golf cart Toyota Tercel... especially when the wipers broke. That's another story, though.

I took a much needed nap today. It was really lovely and I feel like a completely different person now. I must have needed it. The nap restored my good mood (am I usually in a good mood? I have no idea!) and I'm feeling quite refreshed.

I woke up early this morning to meet John at school. As much as I hate encouraging anybody to skip class (and I have no room to talk on that subject), this is an exception... seeing him almost first thing in the morning (at least before I have any contact with significant human life outside my home) keeps me up for the rest of the day.

On the horse front, Newt is wild. He was trying to gallop on his HIND LEGS on the lunge line. Yikes! I'm surprised he didn't flip himself over... but I should know he's more athletic and balanced than anything, even though he is quite fat (well, fat for Newt... which is probably how David looks when he's "fat."). I was supposed to go to Robin's today, but the weather prevented me from doing so.

23 MAR 2002 - 6.40p
I didn't go to Robin's today. I never got a hold of her to make final plans, and I have a feeling the messages I left with her children will not be delivered. Oh well... perhaps I can make it out there on Monday.

Last night was pretty crazy. Ivy, Paul, and I went porn shopping, and Ivy purchased a German porn. We were looking to enhance the German we already know, but I'm not so sure this was the right way to go about it. But the guy on the back cover was naked, except for TUBE SOCKS, and that just plain ruled. The film was just a lot of boring fucking, really, until the last scene... all of sudden, the nasty chick got up and left, and returned to the two guys with a bowl. She squatted over it and urinated and then DRANK the contents of the bowl. Yipes! I know I was not expecting it to end that way. It was shocking, yes. Yuck.

It seems everybody is being a deliquent about school lately. I didn't go to any classes on Wednesday, then didn't go to any on Friday (even though I honestly tried to go to my conflict class, but it was cancelled). I hate school. I'm ready for summer.

Oh well... nothing to do tonight, so I'm going to play with my dog.

22 MAR 2002 - 7.49a
I've been enjoying my life... and forgetting about minor things like school and homework. For instance, after totally failing my German midterm (still unofficial, but I'm predicting a really bad grade), I should have been all about the German. But no, that's not what happened. I still haven't done stuff that was due Monday, so I'm pretty much screwed. Oh well.

Tuesday night was fun... I started the evening off at a bar with John (yay) but then John had to leave (boo) and so I headed to Paul's, as Ivy was there. We had a great time, and Ivy even trank a little (yes, trank). I especially enjoyed fucking with Bob... "A... B... 3... D..." and making the sock puppet of Bob, complete with a heart tattoo that says "PUNK" on it. Oh wow... it was a good time. It was such a good time, in fact, that I didn't come until 5.30a... yipes! Needless to say, I didn't make it up for class on Wednesday.

I spoke with Robin about switching Newt with something rideable... she totally has no problem with it, so I'm going to look at her horses tomorrow. I'm excited. I know I will miss Newt terribly, and I'll probably end up driving out to Valley City way more than I should, but oh well. I'm sure whatever I bring home will be so wonderful that I end up falling in love with it. Then we'll have to buy it.

Last night my friends so graciously volunteered me to demonstrate how to use the internet in Dave Davis media writing. We had a guest speaker in, and I'm not really sure how it happened because I whined and complained about it... but I had to go to the front of the room and I was so bored. And then the guy in the wheelchair came in and sat next to me and smelled like cheap cologne and then Dave Davis could sense my discomfort and he told me I could go back to my desk. Whew. Oh, and the "Meg" shit was out of control. John didn't take a tally, which is unfortunate... especially since there was a whole new speaker guy there calling me "Meg." Wow. Back at my desk, things were much nicer. I took my shoes off, ate some candy, emailed my friends, rubbed John's legs with my feet... yeah, it was really nice.

Tonight I will listen to the Tindersticks album that John was so nice to let me borrow. For real. And if I don't get around to it tonight, there's always tomorrow, right?

[now playing: bis - 'the new transistor heroes' cd ... it's too early in the morning for this, but oh well]

18 MAR 2002 - 10.42p
Happy belated St. Patrick's Day. I had a super fantastic time with Lacey... we drank, drank, drank, and then had a super meal to end our day of drink. High points of the day include: hanging out with Lacey (naturally!), listening to the really superb cd I made for Lacey in my car, and phone calls from John. Low points of the day: breaking 40% of my fingernails, not being able to get the Sunday drink special when we went out for dinner (something about it being a holiday), and David accusing me of hating my middle name.

Newt might be going away for a month of rehab. He's not perfectly sound yet (it's probably more something I can feel than someone can see...) and since the time off seemed to do him a great deal of good, I figured an extra month wouldn't do any harm. Hopefully he'll be going to my friend Robin's, and I'll get one of her sale prospects to occupy my time with in return. I talked to her the other day about what she has for sale (I bought Newt from her, and I know we have the same taste in horses) and she told me that if I didn't like anything she has enough to buy, we could work out a deal where I'd have something to show for the year. Probably better than making myself miserable with the whole Kid thing. Anyhow. If Newt doesn't come back from Robin's feeling 100% to me, I'll start to get aggressive with the vets again.

I had my German midterm today. It blew.

This morning, I got up early (which was quite a feat after yesterday) so I could go to school to study for German. John skipped his morning class and met up with me. It was nice, even though I don't think John was feeling very well. It's okay... I still like him.

16 MAR 2002 - 9.43a
It's been a few days again, I guess. Spring break is as good as over, and I'm sad about that. I think I could use about a month-long break from school right about now.

Nothing much has gone on since I last wrote. One night, Ivy felt like drinking and was sadly denied by a bartender who had gladly served her before. That sucked. Another night, John came over and we watched Survivor and we attempted to watch that Celebrity boxing thing. I like John. I spent much of yesterday in a funk... I know exactly what my problem is, just having a very pessimistic attitude. I don't feel so down today so far.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's day. Yay. Sadly, I have not done a damn thing the last few St. Pat's days... I'm not even sure why (work?)... so I fully intend on making up for it tomorrow. I have a German midterm on Monday that I am 100% sure I am going to fail, so I might as well give myself a reason for failing and get sauced tomorrow. I have no idea where we are going (or where we should go, for that matter) but I'm kind of hoping to run into someone who wants to kiss me (because I am Irish).

I never finished the insane story from our night out last week... the one about me and Lacey and superhero John... I just don't know if I'm going to get around to it. The creative juices are really limited today, so I might save it to finish for another time. Gah.

11 MAR 2002 - 5.33p
It's been a few days... which is understandable, considering Lacey and I had the Friday night to end all Friday nights. It was so unbelievable that I'm going to wait another day to talk about it. We had a super good time, and we were oh so happy when John joined us (complete with his tupperwear superhero helmet).

But what I want to talk about now is the most recent breaking news... IVY DID IT WITH THE PHONE MASTURBATOR!!!! For real. Apparently she was thinking about doing it to him on Saturday... then when he called on Sunday (the first time in a month), she knew it had to be done. A big thumbs up to Ivy for taking advantage of the situation and getting what she wanted. She wanted to do it with him again tonight, but I told her it wasn't allowed, as she has a lunch date with the old man tomorrow.

Back to my life... on Saturday, I went out and had a few drinks with John. It was very, very nice, as always. David kept calling from the GBV show in Minneapolis... I actually recognized quite a few of the songs they were playing via cell phone. It was cool.

I planned on staying home on Sunday night, but Victoria called when I was at work and asked if I'd meet her for a beer. She's having some relationship issues, and since my life is just one big issue, I figured it would be good to talk to her, too. She drew some pictures that were kind of funny... of me and John and a pile of rocks. She knows that I know what it is I should be doing about my current situation... but I'm resisting it completely.

Oh well... I think I'm going to take a nap. I'll finish writing about Friday night's adventure some other time.

08 MAR 2002 - 6.59p
What a beautiful day it was. Even though this winter has been quite mild, I hope this is a sign that spring is really on its way. I hate snow. I hate cold. Yay, warm! Yay, skirts!

John and I met for a drink last night and then ended up coming here. It was cool, but kind of sucked when he had to leave to go out drinking for a friend's birthday. I stayed home, he called occasionally when he was on the road. It was entertaining. I'm impressed he made it home.

I watched The Tao of Steve last night. Eeek, something about me and movies just does not mix. I love Donal Logue, though, and for future reference I would do it to him... but probably only to get closer to doing it to Greg Dulli, as they are friends. Anyhow, back to the film... I didn't like it. That's all there really is to say.

Tonight I'm going out with Lacey. Not exactly sure what we're doing yet... I just know that I need to get out of here and have fun. Even though today was beautiful, it was a little frustrating at times. It was nice having nothing to do all day except my Dave Davis midterm (which was cake) and Squid and Newter. But now I'm ready to celebrate spring break. For those of you not attending this evening, feel left out... I'm sure I will be in rare form.

07 MAR 2002 - 5.31p
I'm at school. I'm bored. We got out of media effects early after watching stuff about Letterman's potential move to ABC. We also read like five articles about it. It's a current event, relevant to the class, and I love Letterman... so I guess class wasn't so horrible.

I'm waiting in the library for John to meet me. That won't be for another 45 minutes or so. Lame.

Ivy never had her date with the 29 year old man the other night. She had too much work to do, so she's going out with him tomorrow night instead. I'm excited for her... and I can't wait to hear how it went.

We ended up going to the Chamber for 80's night last night. It was interesting to go, since we haven't been there in a long time (for longer than 15 minutes, at least). I had one beer... the selection there sucks ass, and I intentionally only brought $3 with me so I wouldn't waste all my hard earned money on warm domestic beer. Nasty.

I rode Kid A today for the first time in a couple of weeks... it was interesting. He wanted to buck me off the instant I sat on him. He just had a hump in his back... I kept trying to turn him in little circles to get his attention on something other than killing me... but he wouldn't turn. He'd turn his head and neck, and continue to barge forward in the direction he chose. I finally got it all worked out and had a pretty okay ride on him. I also rode Newt. We trotted for the first time under saddle. So far, so good... he feels pretty sound, except kind of funny behind. I think that might be weakness from his extended vacation, though. At least I hope that's all it is.

Okay. I have to find something else to occupy myself with. I don't want this to be too long and rambling, although I'm sure it probably already is.

05 MAR 2002 - 11.18p
I am so tired. The only reason I'm still awake is because there was a story on the news about dogs getting sick and dying... of course, I had to stay awake and watch it, so I can protect Phoebe... but all the dogs were in Geauga county, so I'm not terribly concerned.

My media effects midterm was great. All that studying I did paid off... luckily, there were only a couple of things I wans't sure of... for the most part, I flew through it. Dave Davis class was super tonight... the best part was when we got out early. I don't think we have that class on Thursday, another bonus. I love Dave Davis.

After Dave Davis, John came out to my car with me so he could borrow an Afghan Whigs cd and smoke a cigarette... we had a cigarette or two, and he told me the best story about caramel corn. You see, John always smokes my cigarettes, which is a-okay with me because I don't mind sharing with him. Since he is nice, he decided to stop and pick up a pack of Parliaments for me before class... much to his dismay, they only had 100's, which were clearly unacceptable. So he bought caramel corn instead and went elsewhere for my cigarettes. He said the caramel corn was pretty good. He also told me a pretty good story about blur's "She's So High" and a Ford Escort.

Oh well. I'm going to bed now. I'm tired. I don't want to go to class tomorrow. Wawawawawa.

04 MAR 2002 - 8.21p
Thanks to David, who currently isn't even speaking to me, for archiving for me today.

I have a big, scary Media Effects midterm tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, other than Dr. Kraus recommends two blue books... I thought that seemed a little extreme, but who knows. I've been reading about news for over an hour. Guh. Time to move on to something else, as far as I'm concerned. I might take a hot bath and start reading up on another topic... I think I'm going to start on advertising next. Yay.

I don't know what else to talk about. Oh! I know! Ivy's going out with a 29 year old man tomorrow. Ivy is 19. I wish her luck, and I hope she gets to meet his parents (he lives with them).

[now playing: sunny day real estate - 'diary' cd]